


What Do You Know of Love?

by Queen_Multifandom



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Battle of Five Armies, F/M, Long Shot, My First AO3 Post, Sad Ending, The Desolation of Smaug - Freeform, Tragic Romance, lee pace is hot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-08
Updated: 2015-04-08
Packaged: 2018-03-21 21:09:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3704895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Queen_Multifandom/pseuds/Queen_Multifandom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As a lowly Silvan she-elf, I was never really appreciated by the Elvenking, even in my position as captain of the Elven guard. He was a cold and distant elf; many would not dare flinch beneath his calculating gaze, including myself. When Hir nin Legolas and I brought Thorin Oakenshield's company before King Thranduil, the human woman amongst them caught his eye.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Do You Know of Love?

**Author's Note:**

> Just something short I wrote a while ago, didn't wanna post it because I thought it might turn out too short for a one-chapter story, because I normally write a lot. This is just an idea that stuck in my brain after I watched The Desolation of Smaug, and yes, it is a Thranduil x OC story with a little Kiliel mixed in there and a twist - it is told in the point of view of our gal Tauriel! You might find this crappy because there won't be any fluffy scenes since it's told in Tauriel's voice, but I just wanted to try to write this in an implicit style of fiction. I hope you guys like it, and happy new year! BTW, the Battle of the Five Armies was so amazing I can't even describe how awesome it was. I came across this awesome legit Sindarin name generator website: elf.namegeneratorfun.com/ which I used to generate a few names in this story. I used this transcript: www.allreadable.com/mv19ce6E9CT (The Desolation of Smaug Transcript) and this: www.springfieldspringfield.co.uk/movie_script.php?movie=the-hobbit-the-battle-of-the-five-armies (The Battle of the Five Armies Transcript)

Legolas and I had fought the spiders alongside Thorin Oakenshield's company which consisted of twelve grumbling dwarves, and a well-kept, though slightly plump, human woman. One dwarf, Kili, I rescued effortlessly. He proved to be continuously flirtatious, even when he was being locked in the dungeons of Mirkwood along with his friends. Thorin was brought before King Thranduil, though I do not know what they conversed, and I did not need to know to assume that it did not go well. The rift between the elves and the dwarves was something I never really understood; the dwarves of Thorin's company were not horrible or mean in nature at all.

Afterwards, I went to see the King to discuss the issue of the Great Spiders spawning all over Middle Earth, but his apparent lack of interest did nothing to conceal itself. He was selfish as usual. Not wanting to risk facing his wrath or anger, I solemnly turned to leave. 

"Legolas said you fought well today."

I halted at what seemed like a compliment at first coming from the Elvenking, and I blinked at his bluntness as I faced myself away from him, taking time to recover from the shock. Then slowly I turned, and began to realize that it was quite unusual for him to be complimenting me after he made it clear that I was at fault for thinking of the other lands, which apparently were not at all his concern. How could he have been so heartless? But then again he was always - difficult. Cold. Emotionless. Cruel. Uncaring of the elves who served him and put their lives at risk to protect their King. His unsympathetic and insensitive nature extended to even his own son at times, which would not exactly be surprising for one who had seen the King's icy exterior.

"He has grown very fond of you."

Oh. Of course. Thranduil's suggestive words were suggesting something impossible; why would the Prince of Mirkwood see anything at all in me? I was but a Silvan elf; lowly and unimportant. I stared at the King incredulously and swallowed, though it did nothing to rid the irritating lump in my throat.

"I assure you, My Lord," I blurted hurriedly, "Legolas thinks of me as no more than the captain of the guard!"

"Perhaps he did once," Thranduil, to my horror, began stalking over to me. "Now, I'm not so sure."

I was on the verge of tears from the humiliation he had caused me by putting me in such a difficult position. Never before had I felt so hurt, so ashamed of my origins. Only he, the King of the Woodland Realm, could make me feel this way. I thought carefully before I spoke, like I did each time I was in his presence.

"I - do not think that you would allow your son to pledge himself to a lowly Silvan elf."

"No!" he replied quickly, inconsiderately. "You are right, I would not. But still, he cares about you."

I lifted my head at these words, and realized that it was indeed true - Legolas, my friend, had feelings for me that he had chosen not to act upon yet. But he would be disappointed, as I did not return his affections. My affections lay - elsewhere.

Thranduil spoke again, and a harsh command came from his lips. "Do not give him hope when there is none."

I swallowed yet again and left when Thranduil gave me a dismissive gesture to leave the room.

"No, Hir nin." (Yes, my lord.)

And then I left, without another word, with tears brimming at my eyes. I retreated to the dungeons to watch the dwarves who were currently held prisoner. I went to Kili's cell to see him holding a peculiar black stone engraved with strange markings - I assumed they were carved in Khuzdul, the language of the dwarves.

"The stone in your hand, what is it?" I asked.

He looked up at me, and for the first time I realized just how good-looking he was - for a dwarf. His brother Fili was not exactly horrid to look at either, nor was their uncle, Thorin Oakenshield. They all possessed a burly kind of charm, different to the ethereality and elegant charm that Elves possessed.

"It is a talisman." Kili replied. "A powerful spell lies upon it. If any but a dwarf reads the runes on this stone..."

I inclined my head, awaiting the end of his sentence to come pouring from his mouth. A smile ghosted his thin lips.

"... they will be forever cursed. Or not. Depending on whether you believe in that kind of thing; it's just a token. A rune stone. My mother gave it to me so I'd remember my promise."

"What promise?" I was becoming more and more intrigued in what he was telling me, and soon we were engrossed in a vivid conversation as I explained to him the Feast of Starlight that the Wood Elves partook in, and described firemoons and starlights to him as he listened intently.

"I wish I could show you the caverns."

"Nikerym," (Captain) I turned around to face one of the guards who was stoic without emotion. "The King wishes to see the human woman."

Thorin Oakenshield audibly growled as he flung himself against the cell bars as three other guards and I advanced toward the woman's cell, which was positioned next to his. Though she had heard of the King's request, unlike Thorin, she did not seem at all agitated.

"You will not touch her!" the Dwarf King threatened fiercely, though to no avail. I unlocked the cell and helped the woman out of it, and proceeded to escort her out of the dungeons. Thorin continued to snarl protectively. "The throat of that pretty boy King will have been cut by the edge of my blade before he treats her as disrespectfully as he does the rest of my kin!"

"Calm yourself, Thorin, I am sure the Elvenking will do no such thing." the woman assured him, calmer than even the King himself usually replied to irrelevant reports. She struck me as brave and strong-headed to not be afraid of the King of Mirkwood's rumored wrath, which was most definitely true.

When she was brought before Thranduil, out of burning curiosity I did the most foolish thing possible. I lingered to listen to their conversation, even if it was risky beyond measure. It was not my place to eavesdrop, but I was so eager to know why he had felt the need to talk to her that I decided to do this. I pretended to leave with the other guards as the King dismissed them, and once we had reached a suitable distance I stayed where I was as the last guard left the scene; thankfully, I was in a position where I could still see Thranduil and the woman conversing with one another. The long distance between the pair and I was not a problem for my eyesight and hearing, as Elvish eyes are superior to that of any dwarf or man's, as are Elvish ears. I was too afraid to look at first, so I just tried to listen to their conversation with my breath hitched. I gathered my courage and observed from a safe, significant distance, watching the scene unravel before me.

"You need not kneel before me." Thranduil's silky voice echoed across the Mirkwood Halls as he stood and looked down at the kneeling woman below him who had her head down, facing the floor. "In fact, I forbid you to kneel in my presence ever again, henig (my child). Do rise."

I blinked; once - twice at the King's rather affectionate addressing. But the woman did not resemble a young child at all. She looked to be about thirty years of age in human years, and was lucky to possess a fair face and long flowing locks of auburn hair.

"I do believe that I am one too unworthy to be granted the permission to stand in the presence of the Great King of Mirkwood, Your Majesty."

The corners of my lips turned up into a little smile as I heard her speak to the Elvenking for the first time. Her voice was full of confidence, though her words were chosen carefully and cautiously. She was proving to be unusually composed and clever, and I saw the King's lip crook into a small smirk as well. After a while, he asked her for her name.

"My name is Eglantine, Your Grace."

"Ah, Eglantine, the wild rose. Your name is befitting of your character. And you are right; you are but a lowly traveler associated with Thorin Oakenshield, therefore you are unworthy to stand in my presence as much as you are to refuse my order." his smirk abruptly returned to its unwelcoming frown as he glared at her form. "I order you to stand, and you will do so."

Eglantine was still for a moment before she thought it best to obey the king and stand. "Forgive me, My Lord." she did so slowly and gingerly, not wanting to agitate him any further. Thranduil sat back into his throne and comfortably rested his left leg over his right, his robe draping over his knees, accentuating his slender form in a flamboyant fashion. He seemed displeased to see that her gaze was still fixed to the floor.

"Look at me, Eglantine." he ordered. She did, and if I my eyes were not deceiving me, Thranduil's crystalline orbs widened for a second as a gleam of wonder washed over them, as if entranced by her facial features. This confused me, because Eglantine was not particularly beautiful, even for a human. She did not break eye contact with him; her eyes were held in level with his in dignity.

"What brings a human woman and thirteen dwarves to Mirkwood?" he asked, an already knowing look in his eye. Eglantine licked her lips nervously.

"S-surely Your Majesty has made use of his superior wisdom in figuring out our intentions behind trekking into the Forest of Mirkwood, when you were..." she trailed off, biting her lip, "... negotiating with the dwarf leader of our company, Thorin Oakenshield."

The all too familiar smirk reappeared on his flawless Elven face at her compliment about his intelligence. "You flatter me, lothiriel (flower). And yes, indeed, I know of your quest to reclaim Erebor..." Thranduil elegantly shrugged off his silver-embroidered robe in one swift movement and proceeded to glide down the steps of his throne, silent as an Elvenking could be. It was only seconds before he was stood in front of Eglantine, who's face was blank. "... But you cannot fool me; I know that you fear me." He smiled coyly.

"I do not fear you, King Thranduil." she stated, never once looking away from his eyes. It was like she was possessed by some eerie wave of confidence which I had not ever seen in any other individual when speaking to the Elvenking; not even his own son Legolas woud speak so forwardly with his father. The King looked at her as though he were mocking her lying. She smiled. "Alas, I do not fear King Thranduil of the Woodland Realm. Would you like me to prove it to you?"

He grinned slyly. "Oh, and how would proceed to prove to me that I am not one you fear?"

"Well, I could never be frightened of an Elf who has lost so much to the rage of war." Eglantine stated simply, flinching just slightly as Thranduil's nostrils began to flare, his eyes widening in infuriation. I found myself waiting for Thranduil's next reaction with bated breath as I feared tremendously for the woman's life. At that moment, he was made up of nothing but hoards over hoards of kingly wrath. "As have I." 

No sooner had she said these words did the King have the threatening, deadly tip of his sword pressed uncomfortably into the center of her throat, prodding the sensitive skin there, as if daring her to keep talking. It was wise of her to hold her blatant tongue and fall to her knees.

"Oh, forgive me, My King!" she cried with guilt, careful not to make contact with his robe. "Spare my life and allow me to live in shame that I have brought offense upon you!"

By now Thranduil's anger had already subsided by a half, yet he refused to withdraw his blade. 

"It would be beneficial for yourself if you would put restrictions to your boldness", snapped Thranduil, his anger slowly subsiding. "Yet, I do not understand how you came across this piece of information about myself. Who is the fool that told you?"

"Travelling with Thorin Oakenshield has made me see what it is to be King," she began honestly, "and he has lost so much in battle. His father, his grandfather, his people. It is those experiences that make him what he is. I can think of only a dwarf like him fit to be ruler of Erebor. He has taught me that being a true king comes with great responsibility as well as tragic experiences of loss."

"I agree with your statement." Thranduil said, sheathing his sword back into his belt and beckoning for her to stand. "You are a clever one. You could be..." he trailed off, advancing up the stairs to his throne again; he was so quiet not even Eglantine heard his movements, "of use to me."

The woman blinked. "I - I do not understand, Your Grace."

"May I request your stay in Mirkwood to assist me with matters concerning the war that I fear is to come, should your "friend", Thorin Oakenshild, claim Erebor once again?"

"Yes."

Her lack of hesitation seemingly caught the King by surprise, as his eyes widened yet again, while the corner of his thin lips curled up into a not-so-subtle smirk. I felt a strange sort of jealousy in the pit of my stomach, as this was not the sneer he often directed at me, but a playful, light-hearted gesture. "Eglantine" had no idea what a privilege this was.

"Yes?" he confirmed.

"Yes. Provided that you release him and all the other members of the company from the depths of your dungeons."

"You dare give me an order?"

"I am not giving Your Highness an order," she replied quietly, "I am bargaining with you."

He narrowed his calculating eyes at the determination and risk of her response; never before had he met one so fascinating. But then again, there was Her... his beloved wife.

His gaze must have hardened at the thought of his passed love, lest he got consumed by grief and descended into the starlight. He could not afford to think these thoughts and let them thaw his cold heart.

"You offer a promising proposal, but how am I to be sure of your honesty? How can I be certain that you will not simply escape with the rest of them?"

Eglantine pursed her lips. "It is beyond my honor to betray Your Majesty. If, under any circumstances, I do not keep my end of the bargain, I swear to the Valar that I will pay with my life at our next encounter."

Thranduil studied her again for a moment before accepting her bargain. A subtle smile found its way to her lips as they shook hands; his fingers were graceful and slender, smooth and warm, while hers were most likely calloused and rough.

I wondered if it was only my imagination that their locked hands lingered for one more unnecessary moment before they abruptly broke apart like damp earth beneath the influence of harsh weather.

With a raise of his hand, Thorin Oakenshield and his company were released from the dungeons. But of course, not obviously; keys were left strung around by intention for Bilbo Baggins to find, as instructed by the knowing Eglantine, who had predicted his efforts to rescue the company.

The whole battle of escape was a somewhat foolish and expected game we all played in result of King Thranduil's and Eglantine's elaborate plan, which formulated from a simple bargain not long ago. Save for the fact that none, not even I, predicted the Orcs' arrival beforehand. Although they were inevitably defeated, Kili was severely injured by a Morgul arrow. I could do nothing but watch in worry and concern as the dwarves drifted off in barrels into the horizon and away from Mirkwood.

Now that the dwarves had left, Eglantine indeed stayed by King Thranduil's side, advising him on how to act upon the issue of the Spiders in the North, and how to deal with the unacceptable behavior of the Elves in charge of guarding the wine cellars, who were no doubt helping themselves to the Elvenking's vast supply of the fine alcohol.

I began to harbor a growing jealousy for Eglantine and a slight fear for my position as Captain of the Guard.

 

"And you did nothing to stop him?!" I yelled at Legolas, infuriated by the piece of information I had just been informed by him. The Prince only stood, knowing that I would react this way. I noticed him watching me with calm yet concerned eyes as I paced the hall, temper flaring like the nostrils of a fearsome dragon.

"My father is the Elvenking of Mirkwood," he replied hesitantly, which only served to agitate me further, "he cannot be stopped from carrying out his order."

I shook my head disbelievingly, letting out a single, humorless laugh. "And what of the dwarves? What of the other races in other lands? Is he truly so heartless as to deny them aid or protection by shutting off Mirkwood to the rest of Middle Earth?"

"Tauriel-"

"Do not deny that this is wrong, mellon nin (my friend)! You must know this is unjust! My loyalty to your father does not waver, but you cannot disagree that King Thranduil is being nothing but unreasonable and selfish as of the moment!"

"Best not to insult the Elvenking so," came a voice from behind me, "these halls have ears."

The boiling rage in the pit of my stomach was affecting me so greatly, I did nothing to control myself as I whipped around to face Eglantine and began to throw harsh and unlady-like insults in her general direction. She took them with her head facing the floor, while Legolas's numerous attempts to quieten my outburst did nothing to serve their purpose. 

"It was I who suggested that the King shut off Mirkwood to protect it." she admitted softly, looking up to meet my eyes. I stopped my maddened ranting and paused to look at her, chest heaving.

"... What?!"

Eglantine glared at me with her determined eyes. "I will have you know that as King Thranduil's advisor I have each and every right to sway His Majesty's opinion with my own, and you must understand that my decisions were not made in a day..." she said in a stern tone which took me aback if but for a moment, "... Tauriel, Captain of the Guard."

"You are a human woman and have no place in these halls!" I yelled, completely unaware of my rudeness; all I was focused on was getting a reaction out of her stoic and firm attitude.

"Do you really care about the other lands, or are you just trying to take your "walk in starlight" with Kili!" she yelled back, and Legolas's eyes widened drastically. Her words only fed my growing anger.

"You just happened to catch the King's eye, and there is no doubt that you've offered yourself to him just to stay in the Woodland Realm!"

"Tauriel, enough." Legolas snapped, standing in front of her, as if shielding her from my barbs. I suddenly realized the gravity of my words and instantly knew that I had taken this too far.

"I apologize, Lady Advisor. I shall take my leave." I spoke hurriedly, wasting no time in shuffling away from her and Legolas, afraid to face shame. I hoped more than anything that she would decide not to tell the King.

 

All anger aside, in the midst of the intensity of the battle and chaos, Legolas and I managed to catch hold of an Orc for interrogation. As we dragged him back inside the palace, his revolting lips sprouted serpentine insults and horrid offences, all of which caused Legolas to throw a sheath made of rough reeds over the Orc's head to muffle the filthy sounds he was producing. With a little less effort we managed to transport "Narzug" into Mirkwood halls, bound by the hands and feet. When we arrived, we caught a glimpse of Thranduil engrossed in a hushed conversation with Eglantine, who seemed to be listening with an almost intently concentrated concern; I did not know what I was thinking at the time, but I could almost swear that they were standing closer together than necessary for a mere discussion between a King and his advisor.

They heard us approach and abruptly turned their attention towards us, while Eglantine stepped back as if on instant impulse. Thranduil's plain expression immediately morphed into that of scorn and disgust as his eyes found the Orc, who was spitting and kicking in our grasp; I smiled a little to myself, pleased that the filth of a creature had no power over us, for it was I that had caught him, and I hoped, inwardly, that I would be praised for doing so.

I noticed that the advisor had been graced with Elven clothing; not of the finest kind, but I could tell that the emerald-colored silk embroidery on her elegant gown, which was a shade of fresh grass, was not something I could afford out of my own personal coffers. Her damp auburn hair had been pulled into numerous Elvish braids; no doubt by one of her new handmaidens supplied by Thranduil, and now, despite her voluptuous figure, her presence seemed to hold more beauty than I, although her face did not. I could not clearly see the exact shade of her eyes - they were a unique shade of the sea with what seemed like morning dew dancing within them. The King was most likely surprised at this as well when he first truly looked at her.

"Eglantine," he began as he stalked over to Narzug and gave him an experimental kick in the abdomen, "you are dismissed. I do not wish for you to be insulted by this... filth." The ghastly creature winced in the sudden wave of intense pain.

"But My Lord, I do not fear the barbs that spout from his vile tongue." she said quietly, somehow managing to make me hear her words in a somewhat sterner tone as she shot me a sharp glare for a split second. I inclined my head and turned stiffly away.

Thranduil dragged the tip of his sword painfully against the Orc's ghastly chin. "It is not a matter of what you fear;" his steely voice cut through our intense exchange, "what matters is that I have dismissed you, and you will be dismissed." 

I was surprised; why was he suddenly so cold towards her? I saw that she was most likely thinking similar thoughts, as her eyes widened and her shoulders visibly tensed at his harsh tone. She swallowed and lowered her head; her crown of auburn hair reminded me of the side of a ripe apple in the most appealing Mirkwood Gardens. "As you wish, My King."

Eglantine turned and shuffled out of the room, and the moment she was out of sight, all our attention went back to the Orc at hand.

 

Narzug may have been a dimwitted orc, but he was unfortunately talented at insults and trifling with Elven nerves. He had mocked me about Kili's possible death due to him being wounded by a Morgul-arrow, and then he had had the courage to sneer at the King, jeering at his relationship with his new advisor. I had already left at the time, but afterwards, Legolas informed me that he witnessed something in his father snap, causing him to decapitate the foul creature in one swift movement on impulse. This puzzled me; why could he not have simply denied the existence of that which was implied by the Orc instead of slaying him and letting him die without a protest? The rumors could not be true... or could they?

Later, I had come to a decision which I would never live to regret. There was something in my chest; something that was tight and would not let go, something in my heart which stung with pain and worry. I despised it more than anything I had ever experienced, yet when my thoughts wandered to him, and when his dashing face flashed across my vision, my heart would flutter with fondness and adoration and I knew immediately that I had to go after him, to be certain of his safety.

I needed to go after Kili.

"You ought to have fallen for Your Prince, Legolas, instead!" you say. Yet I did not; my heart had chosen the second heir of the Line of Durin. I knew that Legolas would never allow it; nor would Thranduil, but I did not care. Not this time. I would not let one King, or a thousand, change my decision, for none controlled my heart.

As I made my way through the hallways, I was met with Eglantine, who stood but a few feet away from me, blocking my path. She was now adorned with yet another beautiful piece of clothing - a scarf of violet silk. She had also changed into a plain white gown, which was now comparatively less extravagant compared even to my green battle garments. It seemed that she had been crying, as her cheeks were stained with dried tears, yet no emotion of any kind was visible across her features. Her gaze lingered on the open palace gates and into the horizon, longingly.

"M-my Lady," I stammered, slowly heading towards her, "what ails you?"

She turned to me, and for the first time, I could see a kindness in her eyes. "Strange, is it not? To love, yet not have a hope for it."

I furrowed my brow in confusion. "My Lady?"

She gave me a little laugh, reaching out, gently taking hold of a lock of my hair and stroking it fondly. "I see the way you look at him, Tauriel. Kili. I know." At these words, I felt my heart pumping rapidly in my chest, seeming to burst out of my rib cage at any given moment. Eglantine giggled at my worried expression. "Do not fret, Captain! Your secret is safe with me, yet I do not feel your need to keep it."

I relaxed just slightly, while not understanding her odd behavior. "My Lady?" I asked a second time, not certain if she knew what I meant, but something in her eyes confirmed her knowledge.

"This... bigotry of sorts between Elves and Dwarves is utterly ridiculous. I think that when King Thranduil turned away from the dwarves, he was thinking of his own people. I also believe that when he refused them help, he was being selfish as well. We should not be hateful towards one another due to past events and unnecessary grudges."

Eglantine patted my shoulder. "All should be free to love as they wish; whom they wish. Regardless of status, race, origin, or even gender." The advisor suddenly looked at me with crestfallen eyes, and I asked her what was wrong.

She breathed in deeply, closing her eyes. "Back in there, when he told me to leave... he reminded me of someone. Someone I cared about very, very much." Eglantine turned away from me, tears brimming at her eyes.

I cleared my throat hesitantly. "Who was it, My Lady?"

"My husband." she whispered, softly so none of the guards around us could hear her. I was surprised, and developed a new-found respect for her. In moments, she was facing me once again, smiling sadly. "He was an incredible man; the wisest, and the kindest that I have ever had the privilege of marrying. We were happy... but then his mother, a kind woman, died of disease not long after our marriage. He held her dearest to his heart. All was plunged into darkness after that - not once did a smile grace his lips after the incident. He was cold to me... and cruel. I am relieved that I am not an elleth (female elf), or I fear I would have died of a broken heart. He disappeared a few months later, and after a year had passed, the villagers informed me of his death from overuse of alcohol.

You can imagine how disappointed I was in not only him, but myself as well. I was not stricken with grief, as I had so expected to be, but rather - ridden with guilt. How could I have been a better wife? Would my actions have changed his fate?"

Eglantine's body started racking with small sobs, leaving me no choice but to comfort and hold her, for I could not bear to see her in such a state. It was strange, for I was not particularly fond of her, but my heart ached to witness pain. I whispered soothing words in Sindarin, not caring that she could not understand any of it. After a while, she regained her composure and stared at me with a renewed seriousness.

"I journeyed with the company to reclaim Erebor, growing quite close to Thorin Oakenshield. I have seen many things, met countless people of all sorts, but none have made my heart sing with nostalgia more so than the Elvenking of Mirkwood has done. It is a fierce admiration, or rather, an intense infatuation that I have for him, yet there is nothing that can be done."

"But My Lady," I began, hope in my eyes, "if I may say so, I believe that you bring good influence over the Elvenking. If you continued to... let him grow fonder of you, his heart may see new light, and Mirkwood may be forever transformed."

A hand flew to my mouth immediately after I had said those words, realizing suddenly just how foolish I sounded. Yet she merely offered me a forlorn smile. "And how exactly do you think this... suggestion of yours would work, Tauriel, if King Thranduil did not harbor any feelings towards me at all?"

I smiled back at her, grasping her hand in my own and squeezing it gently. This woman was in need of so much more hope, more self-esteem. "You do not know that, My Lady."

"Oh, but I know too well, dear Tauriel. Even if he were somehow able to reciprocate these feelings, I would like to remind you that I am still mortal, and I will die in about fifty years or less, I do not know. I could not stay with him for eternity, as much as I yearn to. I simply cannot; it is impossible."

She was right; she was human, while Thranduil was an elf. He could never take her as his queen. And what would the inhabitants of Mirkwood think of their King's new wife? How could they be sure of the King's control over the Woodland Realm if the Queen was peasant-born and knew not how to speak Sindarin and how to rule?

"You are young, Tauriel. Go after Kili." her voice cut through my thoughts abruptly. She gave me a small smile and looked out to the horizon. "Make sure he is safe and alive and tell him how much I miss him."

"I will, My Lady." I gestured her farewell and watched her head back to her quarters. 

 

I held my Kili's hand as he descended into sleep after I had treated him with athelas, healing his wound. My heart fluttered as his previous words echoed in my mind; I was trying to convince myself that I was not living a dream, but a glorious reality. He loved me. Kili loved me, and he had wanted me to know that, even while in a state of delirium. I was disbelieving at first, and told him to lie still while I healed him, yet when he moved his hand to hold mine I could not help but smile inwardly to myself at the warmth of his hand and the raise of my pulse.

Gently, I poured my heart and soul into the sweet kiss that I planted on his forehead, brushing away the hairs which were matted with sweat. 

"Gi melin, Kili." (I love you, Kili) I whispered, knowing that he did not understand Elvish. It pained me to say it, but our love could not be.

Gi melin, melamin. (I love you, my love)

 

"You will not go further." 

Thranduil and his warriors halted in their retreat as I stood a few feet away from them, blocking their path. "You will not turn away," I said as tears brimmed at my eyes, "not this time."

Next to a guard, my eyes caught sight of Eglantine standing behind the King, wearing fine suit of of Sindarin steel and Mithril Chainmail armor. There was a cross of curiosity and hesitation on her face as she stepped toward Thranduil and stood next to him, her gaze never leaving mine. Bow still in hand, I gripped it tightly in determination. My knuckles turned white.

"Tauriel," she started, a hint of a warning in her tone, "what exactly are you doing?"

"I forbid you to pass." I replied sternly with a steely determination I never knew I possessed.

Thranduil's forehead and flawless jaw visibly tightened at my words, as if they were blasphemous; I assumed they were in his perspective. If I were to be completely honest, I was quite frightened of what he would do to me now that I had spoken against him in such a manner.

"Get out of my way." he ordered. He did not shout, but I could sense a fierce anger in the way he spoke through gritted teeth.

A single tear trickled down my face at his cruelty. "The dwarves will be slaughtered! Many more will fall if you do not help them!"

"Yes, they will die." Thranduil answered, a wicked sneer plastered across his face which made me almost gasp incredulously. He had no heart, and he never would. "Today. Tomorrow. A thousand years hence - what does it matter? They are mortal."

Each of his cold words acted as daggers plunging into my headstrong heart, crippling it and turning it frail and vulnerable until I could take no more - I pulled out an arrow and pointed it at him with my bow, aiming between his eyes. His orbs widened at this sudden gesture while Eglantine had unknowingly placed a worried hand on Thranduil's forearm, almost holding him back as she stepped forward protectively.

"Tauriel, stop this madness!" she spoke anxiously. The King felt her grip and harshly shoved her off of him, causing her to whimper and cower to the back. This did not go unnoticed by the guards or myself. A boiling pit of anger rose within me.

"You think your life is worth more than theirs, when there is no love in it?" Thranduil stepped towards me slowly, a mix of fury and immense sorrow in his eyes. My eyes flickered to Eglantine who looked at me pleadingly, then back to Thranduil, whose forehead was but an inch apart from the tip of my arrow. I made sure to enunciate each of my next words slowly, holding his gaze with dignity and hatred.

"There. Is. No. Love. In. You."

For a moment he seemed to be affected by my words, lowering his head. But this had all been feigned as revealed when he struck my bow in half effortlessly with his sword faster than I could comprehend and held the tip of his weapon against the skin just below my chin just as the remnants of my broken weapon fell upon the snow.

"What do you know of love? Nothing." he spat violently, obviously remembering his deceased wife. I was too afraid to struggle, lest the blade slice my throat. "What you feel for that dwarf is not real. If it is indeed love, are you willing to die for it?"

Thankfully, Legolas came to my rescue by striking his father's sword to the ground with his own, freeing me from his hold. Thranduil suddenly looked pale, overwhelmed that his own son had defied him for another. I silently thanked Legolas, watching as he stared his father dead in the eyes threateningly. I had never seen someone dare to look at the King in that way, let alone his own son and heir.

"If you hurt her..." the Prince warned severely, "you'll have to kill me."

As I headed away from them, Legolas followed suit, comfortingly assuring me that he'd come with me to the top of the mountain to find Kili and the dwarves, I looked back for a second and smiled, seeing the Elvenking leaning against Eglantine for comfort and emotional support. She smiled back, and that was the last display of happiness she would see from me in a long time.

 

My ears perked upwards at the sound of Thranduil's cloak sweeping gently against the snow in his wake, nearing me. He stopped, and I felt his eyes lingering upon me. Then another pair of footsteps drew closer, growing louder and stopping eventually to stand next to Thranduil.

"They intend to bury him." I barely managed to choke out the words as I wept, crouched next to Kili's body. I saw Eglantine's eyes brim with fresh tears and her jaw clench at the sight of her friend's corpse lying on the cold sheet of snow. 

Thranduil could think of nothing to say but 'yes'. Deep down, I'd rather he'd remained silent instead of speaking a thousand words in a single confirmation. Not able to hold the emotions raging within me, I broke down in tears and started to sob heavily. "Oh, Tauriel!" Eglantine cried sympathetically, wrapping her arms around Kili and I as she cried with me; I found it slightly comforting to know that I was not alone in my grief.

My bloodshot eyes looked at the King as his did my own. "If this is love then I do not want it! Take it from me," I pleaded to him, not daring to glance at the pale, lifeless face of my beloved, "please!"

He stared at me, the look in his eyes telling me that he could do nothing to help. I turned away. "Why does it hurt so much?" I asked grief-stricken to no one in particular. After a moment, he responded.

"Because it was real."

I stared up at him in shock, confused that he would say such a thing. This was the first time in centuries that I felt truly valued. I heard Eglantine stop crying as her breath hitched in her throat at his words. I saw her give him a sad smile, which he returned after a few moments. Suddenly, the warmth of the horizon seemed to thaw the cold hand of death and sorrow, basking us in enlightenment and renewal. It was time to put the past behind us, and I knew in my heart that all three of us must have known that as well. Maybe a simple mortal woman really could change the immortal Elvenking for the better.

(A/N: This is the first ending - you are welcome to stop reading if you feel that this is the most appropriate ending for the story. This is what I first wrote; below is the extended ending, which is tragic, contains character death and has slightly OOC dialogue. Also the Elvish phrases may be incorrect because I got them from various translators. Thank you!)

Years had passed since the battle of the five armies, and I now served as the handmaiden of the new Captain of the Royal Guard, a strong Silvan elf by the name of Maethion. He was handsome, which quickly caused every handmaiden in Mirkwood to gossip of his bravery and giggle as he walked past them. I had to admit, even I had found myself slightly attracted to him once - but I quickly realized that I was only attracted to him because his personality resembled Kili's. Oh, my dear Kili... not a day has gone by that I have not thought of you. Were it not for the comfort given to me from Eglantine, I would have perished long ago from grief.

Eglantine and I had become the best of friends, unsurprisingly. When the King threatened to have me exiled for aiding the dwarves and threatening him, Eglantine spoke up in my favor, which helped me significantly. The advisor had an advantage; King Thranduil was growing fonder and fonder of her each day every time she was called upon to assist him and supply suggestions, therefore her speaking for me almost instantly prevented me from exile, though I was stripped of my title as Captain of the Guard and forced to serve as a handmaiden. Eglantine and I were inseparable during the time we spent together. I also managed to teach her basic Sindarin phrases to aid her in communicating with the other inhabitants of the woodland realm, and to our relief, the majority of them learned to see past her origins, taking a liking to her for her kindness instead.

Each day, I happened to witness minuscule interactions between her and Thranduil in his chambers, each encounter being subtle yet undoubtedly passionate. The exchange usually consisted of a long-lasting embrace, or a stroking of the cheek. Thranduil's personal handmaiden, Noruinith, told me of a time when she once hurried off discreetly after having witnessed Eglantine 'braiding the King's golden tresses as they laughed and exchanged looks of fondness'. It seemed as though the Kingdom of Mirkwood had returned to what it once was... if but for a few years. 

Alas, our luck did not last long. When Eglantine reached the age of forty-two, we were sewing intricate embroideries onto clothing and armor one crisp spring morning when I heard the sound of her light coughing. I asked if she was alright, to which she replied a hoarse 'yes', smiling and resuming her sewing. After a few moments, the coughing grew louder and more consistent, worrying me to the core until I could stay silent no more. I hurried over to her and placed a hand on her back, rubbing it soothingly. Unfortunately, that did nothing to stop her coughing. Soon, she was gasping for air and seemingly struggling to breathe. My eyes widened in horror when I discovered crimson droplets staining the dust-ridden carpet, realizing that blood was spewing from her mouth. 

"My Lady!" I screamed in dread, hastily trying to catch the droplets of blood with a ripped handkerchief that I had been mending. The pattern of violet orchids sewn into the material were now soiled, but I cared not as my friend started to grow pale. Noruinith and three other handmaidens heard my cries and burst into the room, gasping in shock and terror. "Send for the healer!" I cried, my heart clenching in fear. "Make haste! Hurry! Oh, may the Valar bless this cursed day!"

She was taken into the healer's chambers to be treated immediately. The healers ushered us out of the room, all guards included as they began trying their hardest to save Eglantine's life, fearing that the King would have them executed should they fail. I did not waste a single moment in personally notifying the King of the situation, informing him of her state. To my surprise, he grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me violently. "How is she?" he asked severely, eyes boring into mine. 

"I do not know, Aran-nin (My King). The healers have started their work. Let us hope for the best."

"I shall have the healers banished from Mirkwood, should Eglantine die!" he bellowed, pacing around the throne room until he stopped, facing a corner. "You do not understand, Tauriel, I cannot -" he paused, "she cannot die. I will not be left alone again, I -"

And then the strangest thing happened. Thranduil turned around; I could see that his eyes were glazed over with tears. I almost gasped, having never in my life witnessed such emotion on the Elvenking's face. His eyes held a fear, a fear of loneliness so great that it had seemingly found its way to my head as well while I held his gaze. Limply, he slowly walked over to the wine alter, half-heartedly pouring himself a goblet of his infamous fine wine. There was a peculiar sort of grace in watching him drink, and somehow, in his sorrowed state, he still possessed the elegance that is the trademark trait of elves. After a moment, he filled a second goblet with the bittersweet dark liquid and handed it to me. I took it hesitantly, as this was the first time he had ever offered me anything. I took it as a sign that he wanted me to accompany him in his struggle to which I happily obliged by providing him a listening ear.

"I have loved so deeply in the past that since it was ripped from my hands, I could not bare to touch it, nor merely think of it." he spoke slowly, head hanging in despair. "Then, Legolas, my only son and heir, departs to the Dunedain in the West, leaving me alone with no one but my mortal advisor - the only glimmer of light in my world of darkness, a warm flame in the coldest regions of my heart. Her intelligence was what sparked an interest within me since the moment I first spoke with her, and even then, she had already altered my perceptions of mankind. I held no respect for her race before her wits were demonstrated through her speech, and now, I am curious still to know if there are others alike. I have had twelve years - we have all had twelve years to forget the past and start anew, and during those years, I have grown very, very fond of Eglantine."

My eyes were now red and swollen, a layer of fresh tears blurring my vision as the King's heartfelt confession provoked something within me which hurt like arrows piercing my very soul. By now, Thranduil had made his way back atop his throne, hunched over in melancholy. He chuckled softly, yet it was cloaked with all the sadness of the world. "I am afraid, Tauriel. I am afraid of being alone. I am afraid of the pain that will follow. But I am most afraid of losing her. I am afraid that without her I will no longer have the will to rule over Mirkwood as I did before. The spiders in the North were vanquished using her suggestions, and the Woodland Realm remained unharmed because of them. There is not an ounce of doubt in my heart that Eglantine would have made a better ruler than I, had she been a child of Oropher."

I swallowed, clenching my jaw to hold back yet more tears threatening to spill from my emerald eyes as I opened my mouth to say something, anything. "E-Eglantine is my dearest friend. I shall ask the healers to inform me of her current condition now, if you will grant me permission to do so, Aran-nin (My King)."

"Yes," he replied, "yes of course. Make haste and report back to me - I should like to see her as soon as possible."

I bowed hurriedly, wiping the tears from my eyes. I ran to the healer's chambers to be met with Maethion, who was dressed clad in golden armor, guarding the room. Placing a hand upon his arm, I asked him if he had heard anything from inside the room so far. Just as I did this, the healer opened the door, closing it before I had the chance to peek inside. There was a grave look upon his face which mortified me to the core. "How is she?" I inquired, desperation notable in my voice.

He looked down as if contemplating what he should say to me, brown hair falling over his shoulders. "The Lady Eglantine is... stable. But she is suffering from a terribly fatal disease which was much too late discovered. I am most sorry to tell you that we are doubtful that she will survive the night."

That horrible feeling crept into my chest and began to spread across the whole of my body yet again at his words. This was the first time that I had felt something even remotely similar to this since my Kili was torn from me right before my very eyes. I stumbled backwards as tears prickled at my eyes, staring at the door with shock. I could not even bring myself to think of what I would tell the King.

I had reached him but a few seconds later, crying and informing him hopelessly what the healer had told me outside of the chamber. It pained my heart to see him blink disbelievingly, as if refusing to believe that fate would be so cruel to him. Blinking twice, his eyes appeared filled to the brim with grief. Without another word, he darted through the halls to the healer's chambers with me following closely behind him. Thranduil forced the doors open, immediately causing every healer surrounding Eglantine's beside to move away from her, allowing their King to sit himself on the right side of the large satin bed. He placed a hand on her forehead, wiping away the feverish sweat there. I motioned for all but the King and I to leave the room. Thranduil almost instantly started to shake with vigorous sobs as he laid his cheek in her lap. I worried for him; there was a possibility of him not surviving the pain of this whole ordeal. 

"My King." Eglantine murmured, eyelids fluttering open as she weakly raised a pale hand to stroke the crown of his head. His eyes snapped up to look at her while she smiled at him, frighteningly thinner and pale and weak-looking. This broke my heart and most likely his as well. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Shhhh... do not speak, melamin (my love)." whispered Thranduil, placing a hand to cup her cheek. Smiling, she closed her eyes, causing the smiles from both the faces of Thranduil and I to fall for a brief, grave second. Then she opened them again, and I breathed out in relief.

"Why do you not wear a smile on your face?" she asked, "I hate to see you like this. You really must smile more often, Thranduil." The King's jaw began to tremble as another wave of sadness washed over him. She tilted her head, as if not the slightest bit afraid. "Ah. I am dying. I should have known." Thranduil slowly shook his head, as if to say, "I beg of you not to speak as if you do not matter to me".

Eglantine's eyes found mine, and she reached a hand out towards me. "Tauriel, my friend! Come, come and sit by my bedside."

I obliged willingly of course, hurrying to sit on the other side of the bed. Seeing her pale skin, dry lips and no-longer lifelike eyes up close, it triggered something within me, making tears spill freely from my eyes. She sighed in response to this. "Oh, you must stop! Both of you!" she lightly knocked the Elvenking's temple, giggling playfully. "We shan't have more of that; I doubt Nikerym Maethion (Captain Maethion) would find Tauriel's red eyes the size of grapefruits to be most comely."

A smile instantly ghosted my lips. "Eglantine! You mustn't speak of these affairs in the presence of our King!"

"Oh, hush!" she flicked a hand at me, "it matters not as of the moment." Eglantine turned her head back to meet Thranduil's loving glance, a look I had rarely ever seen in his usually cold eyes. "Look not at me so, you know to whom your heart truly belongs."

The small smile fell from his face at her accusation, though I doubt that she had meant for it to be one. "It belongs to none but you, Eglantine."

"And what of your wife?" she asked. "You have often mentioned to me of her beauty during our strolls in the gardens at night."

He did not reply, and simply placed a soft kiss upon her hand, taking it in his. "Before he left," Eglantine said, "Legolas told me that he loved you and wished for me to stay in Mirkwood to 'change you for the better'." She looked to me again, asking me something peculiar. "What was she like?"

I blinked in confusion. "My Lady?"

"What was she like, the Queen of Mirkwood?"

"Well, I, erm..." I paused, thinking of what to say. "She was - kind. And fair, and beautiful and loving. She had, um, golden locks the color of the sunlight and eyes the color of the sapphires in the mines." I looked at Thranduil, who was listening intently to what I was saying, no doubt reminiscing. "She brought joy to the Woodland Realm, and she loved her son, Legolas. More than anything. More than life." Eglantine's gaze was upon the king weeping in her lap and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, holding him closer.

"And what were they like, Tauriel?" Eglantine asked again. "The King and his Queen, together." 

I cleared my throat, trying to rid it of the lump that had formed, then spoke slowly, truthfully. "There was always something about them that made me naturally associate them with each other. They shared the deepest, most unbreakable connection of that which I had never seen in any other two entwined souls. They were like two vines; twisting and struggling to survive in the winter frost, seemingly growing apart, only to both inevitably end up together as one, relying on each other and living as a single whole. I remember this, as a young elleth (female elf)."

"Do you see now, Thranduil? Even Tauriel understands that you will never meet another like her. No one will be able to erase the memories she has left you, and no one will ever be able to give you better ones. No one will be able to take her place, least of all, me."

The gravity of her words seemed to sink deep into Thranduil's mind. "You are right, Eglantine." he admitted, which came of a shock to both Eglantine and I which was visible in the widening of our eyes. "She was everything to me. She and Legolas were the only things that mattered to me most in my life, until she was ripped from my arms in Gundabad. Nothing could and ever will compare to the pain that I felt when I witnessed her life leave her body with her last breath. But that was long ago, and I have chosen to leave it behind. For you."

Her tears glinted in the sunlight that streamed in from the windows. His name escaped from her lips in a broken moan. "Thranduil -"

"You have been nothing but a blessing to me, a gift presented to me from the gods above, and I have treasured you - these past twelve years I have noticed more of you every time you walked into my throne room with news of rangers in the North; first your hair, glowing like the embers in a fire, then your eyes, the hue of my own, and eventually, I fell prey to your intelligence and your kindness. The more your beautiful strengths and flaws came to my notice, the deeper I found myself falling in love with you." Thranduil's confession was moving me to the core which prompted me to brush a stray strand of hair behind her rounded ear. "You may not be her, but you will always she who made me remember. You have touched my heart in ways that no one has in millenniums, and you are the only one to succeed in taking my mind off of the scars in my flesh and in my soul. I feel as if - as if it is in my blood to love you. Gi melin (I love you), Eglantine."

"Uin edhel (I am not an elf)!" she replied.

"Amin uuma malia (I don't care)." The King murmured. 

Eglantine laughed, and for a moment, the prospect of her impending departure left my mind. Then she spoke in her rasp, weak voice, and my heart was drenched in sorrow once more. "Ah, the great Elvenking of Mirkwood, Thranduil Oropherion, throws himself at the feet of a lowly human maiden ridden with sickness! I wonder what prompted him to do so?" she coyly remarked, making me laugh and him smirk. The smile then fell from her face as she continued seriously. "But the maiden devoted herself to him with every fiber of her being and wondered if there was the slightest possibility that he would ever truly love her in return, despite his cold demeanor towards her. And then, one beautiful midnight, she found his face uncloaked from magic, and saw the wrath and ruin brought unto him by dragon fire. She placed her hand upon his deformed cheek, and knew instantly that she desired to be with him forever."

The King was shaking with immense sadness as he held on to her hand tighter, as if clinging on to the small portion of life left in her body. With the last words I would ever hear spoken in her voice, she whispered, "you both have forever to cherish your lives, but I do not. Before the maiden died, she wished, more than anything, for her King to bestow a kiss upon her lips. Only then would she be happy."

Thranduil stared intently yet lovingly into her eyes for the last time before gently capturing her lips in a slow and tender kiss, savoring the first and only intimate course of action they would share before she had to leave him. What broke my heart was that the pair approached the kiss feeling different emotions; Thranduil was ardent and passionate, while Eglantine returned it affectionately and warmly - all of which would fade to ash as soon as the moment ended. 

Thranduil softly insisted that she rest, and as her eyelids fell shut he kissed her hand. "Gi melin, melamin. Namaarie (I love you, my love. Farewell)."

The Elvenking and I stayed by her bedside until late that night, when both of us felt the final breath of life leave Eglantine's body. Never again would we hear the sweet sound of her laughter or see the morning dew dance within her eyes full of life. Never again would we be challenged by her to a game of wits, which I would purposely lose if only to see that wisdom-filled yet innocent smile grace her lips once more. Never again would embroideries of turquoise silk be seen sewn upon tapestries, as turquoise was her favorite color while King Thranduil despised it, and never again would light ever enter Thranduil's heart.

"Why does it hurt so much?" the King questioned, broken and just as hopeless as I once was.

"Because it was real." I whispered, as the room turned cold and empty. "Eglantine would understand and tell us not to abandon hope because of it. And we shall not - we cannot succumb to grief, for we all now know of love, and to love someone is to treasure and cherish what the heart wants. She would not want us to weep because of her, Aran-nin (My King)."

But as the orange glow of dawn basked us in external warmth, there was no feeling of renewal or enlightenment in our hearts - only sorrow.

**Author's Note:**

> Wow... that turned heavy fast. I'm so grateful for the people who chose to read the entire thing right to the end. Microsoft Word says that the whole thing (not counting the author's notes or any of the translations) is 9942 words long in total! This is the longest single-chapter story I have ever written, and I doubt any other future works of mine will beat this. I'm very proud of this story overall (not counting the mistakes that may be in there) and I almost teared up a little while writing that last bit. But I do love a good tragedy in fanfiction. Special thanks to Peter Jackson for creating the Hobbit Movieverse and the fabulous Lee Pace who did a better job at playing Thranduil than Thranduil probably did being himself in Middle Earth. You guys should totally check out Soldier's Girl (if you're okay with LGBT people) and Pushing Daisies, a movie and a sadly cancelled TV series featuring Lee Pace, my bae <3


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